I'm alive!

And I'm back.

Update

I didn't realize it had been so long since I's posted. Absolutely nothing new has happened save for today. 

So I finally have a gym membership. And apparently my mom and I are going tomorrow. As much as I don't want to go with my mom, oh well. I just need to work out to kill time as much as burn calories. I'm gonna start restricting again. I've been doing good so far. Maybe I'll even do a water fast today.
We'll see. I'll keep my intake below 500 if I have to eat.

ABC Diet Today! :D

I'm officially starting the ABC diet today. Only 500 calories, I can do it! I'm just so fat, it's disgusting. I need to fix this.
It won't be hard. I did it before.

The one thing I hate about drinking water is the horrible bloated feeling you get afterwards. Ugh, it's terrible. But better than eating. I think I'm going to fast until tomorrow morning. I already have a net of -172 so hopefully I can go the night without fucking it up. 

I feel so fat and gross and ugly. I think I'm gonna do some laundry, wash my hair, clean up a bit. Just anything to burn more calories.

Also, drinking all this water has really helped clear up my skin. I have super sensitive skin so I break out a lot, especially in the summer. But it's gotten better ^_^ We really need a water filter. Houston tap water is horrid.

But I digress; I'm hungry, but I'm not. Whenever I think about eating all I have to do is look down at my stomach or my thighs. That's enough to discourage me from eating. Also, I'm craving everything we don't have in the house. I couldn't eat if I wanted to really.   

-Cassie Ana

I don't care if it's 1 in the morning. All I can do is sit here looking at my huge, fat stomach. I'm so disgusting. I hate myself for letting this happen. But I'm going to fix it. Now! 

Food Log 7.19.13

Breakfast: 15

• Vitamins (15)

Lunch: 300

• Beef & bean burrito (300) 

Dinner: 600

• 2 beef & bean burritos (600)

Exercise: -851

• Work - 6 hours (-816)
• Dog walking - 5 min (-10)
• Other - 20 min (-25)

Net Intake: 64 calories

I'm really dreading going to work. 6 hours. I think I might kill myself while I'm there. A part of me is hoping that my grandma doesn't show up to take me. But if she doesn't I'll probably just walk. I'm giving them a 2-week notice today. I hate it there.

But the good thing about working there is that I usually have to walk a mile to get there (and back), I don't have time to eat while I'm there, and I burn a lot of calories. Maybe not a lot, but some. And any amount counts. Ugh, I just really don't want to go. I'm tired. I just hate it there, I really do.