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Trigger Warning: Pro-Ana/Anorexia/Eating Disorders
I do not advocate, promote or encourage eating disorders. This blog is just about me.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Update!!

So much has happened in the past few weeks. I'll just get right to it because none of it is extremely important:


  1. I'm back with my ex. The one I dated in like October-December. Hopefully things go better this time. We've both grown up a bit. He realized how much he needs me, I realized that I don't need him. As in, I'm not as obsessive and insecure as I used to be. He needs me more that I need him, but I want him more than anything in the world. And that's how I want it to be. Also, I don't have a major freak out when he doesn't text me for a few hours. I've gotten better.
  2. I finally got birth control. I don't really know why. I mean, I don't need it. As much as I hate my cramps, and as cool as it is to have extra protection when I have sex, I honestly just got it because my mom didn't want me to. I have this bad "I want it and I want it NOW" mentality. I went through Hell to get these pills. And they're kinda useless to me but whatevs. One major downside is that they might make me gain weight. 
  3. I nearly passed out walking to work today. It was noon, it was hot as fuck, and I hadn't eaten a thing. It was scary and I'm still pissed that I had to miss work. But as I was walking home I couldn't help but think about all the calories I was burning. I felt so weak thin and lovely. And I was able to go all the way to 6pm before eating.
  4. I haven't smoked in forever. Since Tuesday I believe. Similar to fasting, once you get past the 3rd day, things get way easier. Before I was craving nicotine like crazy, now I don't have the physical craving anymore. Like, if someone offered me a cigarette, I'd be able to say no. 
That's about it. I'm going to work on drinking more water and just being healthier again. I have more than enough time to do that.

-Cassie

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