I cut myself today.

It was the first time in 8 months. I don't feel bad like I usually do. I don't care.

I'm just feel really bad right now. I want this all to stop. I want to stop being so awkward and I want friends. I want to be skinny and normal and why can't things just work out for me?
I hate myself because I'm complaining about nothing and everyone hates me and I'll be alone forever.

And I'm contemplating if I should eat or not. I have a net of 154. Or something. But I want to prove to myself that I actually have self-control. Plus, food tends to seem unappealing after I've been crying.

-Cassie