I ate so much today. So fucking much. And just as I began to become motivated to workout he texts me just to accuse me of some bullshit. Not only do I have a sick, bloated feeling because of that fucking cupcake I ate, I now have a nauseous feeling in my stomach and a knot in my throat. Maybe I'll just try to purge now. Out of anger and self-hatred and frustration.
Fuck it.
That's what I keep trying to tell myself. He just pisses me off so damn much. But I'll try to use my hate to drive me. To feed Ana. I'll listen to angry songs as opposed to sad ones this time.
I'm so fucking pissed. At him and at myself.
But fuck it.
Ana keeps telling me to smile. I would be lost without her.
-Cassie
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